About : A Bull in a China Shop
I have recently come to understand how, unintentionally, I can deeply hurt people by saying the one thing that pains them most, and not even know how I have hurt them or that I have hurt them.
I am so sorry – if you have ever met or interacted with you I must have hurt you. It goes without saying.
The fact that I still have awesome friends who care for me just proves that there are many, nice, loving and forgiving people in the universe. I doubt if I could even tolerate someone like myself. I am fairly sure I could not.
The issue is that I have excellent communication skills, a deep grasp of a situation, and a tendency to say whatever comes to my mind, without any consideration or thought of how people might feel.
Thus I have poor intercommunication skills. I have seriously annoyed many bosses and colleagues and deeply hurt many of my friends.
Some people think, that since, I read the scriptures and write what I have understood, I am a guru. Even though I have often made it clear that guru has to be a person of very high and sustained spiritual enlightenment, and I am just beginning to open my eyes, they still stick to their own view.
They are very nice individuals who have simply closed their eyes to my well documented faults. To their credit, a student must be blind to the guru’s faults. If you focus on the faults, you cannot concentrate on the subject. So they are probably right in their stand.
Since I believe that Krishna, the sAkSAt parabrahma is the guru, the whole of saguNa or kSara brahman is teaching and moulding me. And I am taking some kAla, or time (itself an enigmatic concept, defined as Krishna, by Krishna in the Gita).
It is my ahamkAra and my mamakAra, the I-ness and my-ness, that form the basis of my attachments to my environment, and that contaminate my mind.
I think that when I reach the ideal state, I may not feel like writing, so these notes will possibly continue only till that point.
Author : Satya Sarada Kandula : All Rights Reserved
